This is an insightful Forbes magazine article for those who have joined us as a mentor. The article lists important traits which will help you benefit greatly from the mentoring experience:
In virtually any industry, having a mentor can be the catalyst for enriching career development. Mentors not only bestow real-life lessons and skills upon their mentees, but also open doors to professional networks, facilitating connections to other professionals who can help shape career success. For a woman, traversing the work landscape can be tricky in a male-dominated industry. Having mentors, particularly ones who have been through the challenges that women in tech face can be a huge advantage and inspiration to a young professional.
However, good mentors don’t just descend upon us like angels from heaven. Finding a good mentor is, perhaps not surprisingly, more like dating. There must be a certain chemistry between mentor and mentee, one of reciprocity and mutual respect, for the relationship to blossom for both. It takes a lot of research, courage, and likely some trial and error to find that person who can be a true sounding board, helping us navigate our careers and decision making. A mentor can help you plan for development - map out your career path, define strategies and objectives to reach milestones, and recalibrate if anything goes awry.
Here are some important traits to keep in mind during your search for the right mentor:
Accessibility – First and foremost, a good mentor is an available one. The last thing you’d want is to have your time and effort wasted if a mentor is unable to commit to engaging with you regularly. You need a mentor who is able to dedicate time to your development without being distracted by their own projects. Of course, they’re just as busy as anyone else, but if they commit to you, then your time with them is your time. Likewise, don’t betray their commitment with half-hearted effort. Have a goal for every one-on-one meeting and come prepared with an agenda, keeping your objectives top of mind and tracking to your shared plan.
Authenticity - It’s not enough to have accumulated degrees, titles, and years of experience to be a good mentor. They must be genuinely interested in helping you on your journey because they see your potential and want to help bring it to fruition. Truly great mentors don’t want a carbon copy of themselves. Rather, they want to guide you in your discovery of what’s possible based on your own talents and drive.
Objectivity – A good mentor is not going to spend time trying to be your best friend, nor should you seek that. Real growth in any profession means receiving honest feedback and learning from things that at first you may not want to hear, but will be essential to your long-term development. A good mentor will challenge you as much as they help and praise you. As a mentee, be proactive about seeking objective feedback. This openness can help turn a challenge into an attainable goal.
Continual Learning – Does your potential mentor seem stuck in their ways because “that’s the way it’s always been done?” Or are they open to new ideas and continually learning about their field? Ideally, your mentor is someone who has been in your field for a substantial amount of time, at least 10 to 12 years. Ask what networks or trade associations they’re members of and how often they attend their gatherings.
Being successful and active for this long is a strong sign of flexibility and openness to new ideas; learning from their own experiences and applying those lessons in their own journeys. This means your mentor has a trove of stories, anecdotes, and other resources to pull from and can tailor strategies to help you reach your own goals. A strong mentor is one who has demonstrated willingness to learn new things that have enhanced their own skill set. They should inspire through their own actions as much as they teach.
Values - Be aware that a highly successful person isn’t always a person with strong core values. A mentor is someone you admire and respect, not only for their accomplishments but how they carry themselves and the way in which they treat others. Ask the potential mentor’s colleagues and subordinates about the mentor’s working and communication styles.
Do they demonstrate respect, honesty, and kindness? Or have they too-often come across as rude or self-centered? Your integrity should never be compromised, so it’s important that a mentor’s values align with your own. Otherwise, this will cause friction between the two of you.
Finding a mentor can be daunting, and in many instances, this won’t happen overnight. Keep the above qualities in mind during your search, but be amenable to all avenues of human connection. Network with other professionals and be open to the possibility that, sometimes, a mentor may even find you.
Patricia Duchene